In November, Syed Saleem Shahzad, Pakistan Bureau Chief of Asia Times Online, wrote that Rehman Malik was at the top of a list of names that the military asked Zardari to remove from office following the publication of American journalist Seymour Hersh’s article about Pakistan’s nuclear aresenal.

The military establishment has seized the moment to hand over a list of names to Zardari of people it believes should be immediately replaced. At the top of the list is the ambassador to Washington, Husain Haqqani, whom the army has always regarded as a foe for being too close to the American administration. Minister of the Interior Rahman Malik is second in line.

Neither Haqqani nor Malik were replaced. But that didn’t stop the Wishful Journalists. In January of this y ear, Ansar Abbasi wrote in The News that “Rehman Malik may be the first to face the axe” as a result of the NRO decision.

Interior Minister Rehman Malik is faced with an immediate threat of disqualification as member of the Parliament and the federal cabinet and is also liable to be put behind the bars if the Supreme Court judgment on NRO is implemented by the government.

As it turns out, of course, Rehman Malik may have been the first – but not to face the axe. Actually, Mr. Malik was acquitted of charges and remains Interior Minister.

According to the judgment, through the scrutiny of record it transpired that no cogent or convincing evidence had been brought on record by the prosecution against the applicant/ accused in support of the allegations levelled against him in the subject reference.

Once again, the pattern plays out the same way: a Wishful Journalist writes his wish; if it doesn’t come true, the Wishful Journalists wait a few months and wish again. It seems that too many of our prominent journalists spent their time writing out their wishes rather than simply reporting facts.

There is a difference between wishing for something and reporting something. Unfortunately, this is too often lost on our journalists who prefer to actual reporting to only say something that they wish would come true even if it is not based in any facts. This is not journalism. It is only wishing.

From the day of his election as President, Shaheen Sehbai has been predicting the failure of President Zardari. A few months later, Sehbai continued his wishful thinking:

My considered opinion is that the present Zardari-led set-up will not last long as it has been structured on a wrong and distorted political premise as result of which the key players who have emerged as main power wielders were never in the picture, neither of Benazir Bhutto’s PPP, which actually got the votes and won the seats in the February 18 elections, nor anyone else. And these new players have failed to establish their political legitimacy and moral authority through their actions after coming to power.

Seven months later, Zardari was still in office. It seems the key players had more political legitimacy than perhaps Mr. Sehbai had hoped. Rather than admit his mistake, however, Mr. Sehbai simply wished harder.

The PPP and its Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani have now started talking in exceptionally confident and aggressive terms, the latest statement made to Geo TV’s Hamid Mir stating categorically that he was ready to create history – which in other words suggests that he was about to stage a political and moral coup against his own party co-chairperson, Mr Zardari, because his government had turned into a joke and Mr Zardari, exercising all the powers, had failed to come up with any successful initiative or policy.

Again, several months pass and, despite all of Mr. Sehbai’s wishes, Zardari remained in office. Again, rather than admit his mistake, Mr. Sehbai published more Wishful Journalism.

The State Department, specifically Hillary Clinton, has almost categorically declared that they are no longer interested in saving President Asif Ali Zardari if he falls in his current battle for survival, waging in the superior courts of Pakistan. But the message Pakistanis have been sent is to get over with the in-house turmoil and transition as quickly as possible to stabilise the democratic system and focus on the war on terror.

Once again, Mr. Sehbai’s wishes were denied.

Of course, Shaheen Sehbai is obviously not the only Wishful Journalist who has written about Zardari’s imminent removal as President. Dr. Shahid Masood wrote his wishes last October, saying that the Americans were going to remove Zardari from power.

After meeting top political and defence decision-makers here in the US capital, where I was invited by the National Defence University (NDU) for a two-day seminar on the anniversary of 9/11, I was told in unambiguous terms that a change in Pakistan was inevitable for US policy interests, although Washington does not intend to disrupt the system.

Several important Pakistani political players have also been conveyed the same message by the US political and defence establishment, including the MQM and recently the ANP, whose chief is travelling with President Asif Zardari in New York.

The Americans were only a new twist on an old wish, though. Several months before, it was the “minus one formula” that was secretly worked out between the Chief of Army Staff, PM Gilani, and PML-N leader Nawaz Sharif that was going to remove Zardari from power. Then there was the mid-term elections that were going to take place and re-shuffle the entire government. Or was it the NRO verdict that was going to remove Zardari from power?

Can you see the pattern?

‘Wishful Journalism’ is practiced by writing something that you wish is true. When it turns out not to be true, you do not admit your mistake and offer a correction. Rather, you wait a few months and then say your wish again. Maybe this time with a new twist. Instead of Army overthrowing Zardari, it is the Americans! Or the judiciary! Either way, it is still a wish based on no supporting facts. It is still not actual reporting, and not real analysis.

Making wishes is not the same as proper journalism. It is fine for me to wish to be rich and good looking, but no matter how many times I write an article saying I am rich and good looking, it does not make it come true. Actually, it is just a waste of everyone’s time.

The following column by Dr. Syed Mansoor Hussain offers an important opportunity to discuss the TV talk shows and what role these play in our democracy. Are these shows even news? Often, they are uninformed and based more on speculation and rumour than actual facts or legitimate analysis. So, they are more a matter of entertainment. There is certainly a place for this sort of ‘info-tainment’ on television, but let us consider whether or not there should be some balance with actual reporting and intellectually honest discussion about pressing issues. No change can come without the participation of the people, though, so let us begin this discussion here.

Every so often I decide to watch some of the Pakistani TV talk shows. After my most recent foray into the world of incessant shouting and entirely illogical arguments I was forced to coin two neologisms for the talking heads on TV. For the smoother ones, it is ‘the Gliberati’ and for most of the rest it is ‘the Gibberati’.

Media in Pakistan, especially the electronic media, is going through its ‘growing pains’. In an interconnected world it seems that Pakistani TV anchors and talk show hosts are copying the loudest and at times the most incendiary styles of American TV. Chris Mathews of ‘Hardball with Chris Mathews’ is evidently the favourite talk show host to copy.

However, our own pundits quite forget that Mathews has a solid political background having worked with many powerful elected politicians, including a former speaker of the House of Representatives, has written a few books and has even contested an election himself. So, when he talks of politics he often just might know more about it than some of his guests. Yes, he is pugnacious and loud but he is also extremely well informed and experienced in the ways of politics and politicians.

I do not know of a single Pakistani TV talk show host that copies Mathew’s style but has even a fraction of his political experience. This does not mean that there are no serious hosts on Pakistani television; indeed some come to their programmes with considerable research and thought having gone into their questions and observations. But these are definitely an exception.

As far as the guests on these programmes are concerned, it is the same bunch of retired bureaucrats and generals that keep turning up in different shows. What is so amusing about them is that almost each one of them supported and worked for autocrats and dictators when in service but now seem to have become democrats with a vengeance.

As far as the politicians that turn up on these programmes, it seems that they are there for the sole purpose of exposing their ignorance about the issues. Now I have nothing against politicians that toe the party line — that is what they are supposed to do — but it seems that all of them are devoid of any political finesse.

TV news, whether we like it or not, is essentially entertainment now. The purpose it seems is not to inform or educate the viewing public but rather to amuse them. Even in the US, it is not the news shows that most young people get their information about politics from but rather from shows like Jon Stewart’s ‘The Daily Show’ on Comedy Central, or else from the internet and different blogs.

Being a strong supporter of freedom of the media I believe that every television channel and all the hosts have the right to say whatever they wish as long as it is within accepted societal norms of decency. When TV hosts and guests accuse politicians of corruption they are unfortunately often correct. Since very few politicians in Pakistan are known for financial probity, therefore almost every politician can be called corrupt. But the same is true of most politicians in the world.

Eventually, Pakistani media will evolve. At present there are no people in the electronic media that have established expertise in the political, judicial, economic or social spheres. For instance there is nobody on TV that can talk of environmental or health issues with any level of expertise. There is nobody that covers the superior courts regularly or for that matter has any demonstrated expertise in economic matters.

The media serves many important functions. It acts as a watchdog that keeps government honest, it informs the public about what is going on and it educates viewers about issues. As far as politics and politicians are concerned, they are often interesting and easy to talk about but without any meaningful polling data it is virtually impossible to discuss public perception of any government or political party.

What is badly needed is some serious discussion about the problems that confront Pakistan today. Healthcare, environmental issues, unemployment, the bad state of education, the ever present financial crisis, the energy crisis and so many other things. But even when some of these issues are discussed, the discussion predictably deteriorates into a shouting match between people with competing points of views with accusations of corruption flying around.

And it seems that a significant section of the media is obsessed with President Zardari. Indeed the US media is also obsessed with President Obama but the TV discussions are not about the man but rather about his policies concerning the war in Afghanistan, the economic stimulus package, the healthcare initiative, job creation and other policy initiatives that he is pushing forward.

On Pakistani TV, most discussions about President Zardari revolve around his past, his personal weaknesses and the expected date of his departure. Rarely, if ever, have I heard anybody discuss policy matters that he might have been involved in and what effect have they had on our present state of affairs.

Democracy is a messy business and politicians, like the rest of us, are neither angels nor superior human beings capable of getting things done that are impossible to accomplish even in the best of times. Things that have gone wrong over the last 60 years cannot be put right in a couple of years.

Pakistan is surviving and perhaps things will get better, but it will take time and effort on the part of all of us. All of us means not just the politicians, the judiciary, the army, the bureaucracy or the media but also we the people.

For the first time in our history a democratic system is in place that does not seem to be under perpetual threat from the army. So, let us give it a chance and see where it takes us.

Now, referring back to Anjum Niaz’s article about the VIP vice in Pakistan in which she narrates a ‘first-hand’ account of Raza Rabbani’s VIP reception at a Pakistani airport, it turned out that the whole story was a piece of irresponsible journalism written with the sole aim of tarnishing the image of the PPP’s leadership. In fact Raza Rabbani was no where to be seen on the flight that Anjum Niaz is fantasizing about. Actually, Rabbani did not travel on that day at all.

The LUBP has learnt that Raza Rabbani has strongly protested with the Editors of The News on this fraudulent story by Anjum Niaz.

Anjum’s column published yesterday admits her mistake, taking care (of course) to do so only in passing as she essentially publishes the same article about Senate Chairman Farooq Naek, who, she claims, was actually the person receiving the VIP protocol. Anjum, of course, believes that the Senate Chairman is not worthy of VIP status. I don’t intend to argue this point, but will leave that to Abdul Nishapuri to do on his own.

For the purposes of this blog, it is important to point out that, once again, a ‘prominent’ journalist has not only written, but a major newspaper has published a scathing attack on someone without even checking their facts. It is common practice for the editor of a news publication or TV show to require evidence before a factual claim is to be made. Did this happen here at all?

How hard would it have been for the editor of The News to call and verify that Raza Rabbani was actually on the flight? It also raises the question of whether or not Anjum Niaz was even there herself, or if she is embellishing the claim based on rumours that have been passed onto her by someone else.

Either way, there is no excuse for this poor journalism. The facts in this case would have been simply to verify. One phone call is all it took. Instead, The News allowed Anjum Niaz to make up a story and then they printed her false accusations making no attempts to verify the facts. Congratulations to Let Us Build Pakistan blog on another investigative job well done.

It has been 9 days that over 150 workers at Pearl Continental Hotel Karachi are protesting against the sacking of 4 union and over 98 other workers. In protest they have occupied the basement of the 5-star hotel for the last 9 days and despite police raids and bullying and threats by security guards they have not left the site of occupation. This is a historic protest by workers in Karachi, the largest industrial city, where workers movement is generally luke-warm in manners. Occupation by a large number of workers at a prime site means that they have been pushed against the wall.

However the media in Karachi are pretty quiet about the situation. The PC management, chaired by the 5th richest person in Pakistan Mr Hashwani, has managed to keep the media silent, the police raids and arrests of male and female workers and their manhandling all have been hushed-up.

The only media which is reporting about the strike is the stinking right-wing press named Daily Ummat. The entire liberal, pro-democracy, pro-human rights English and otherwise ‘fighting for freedom of media and democracy’ press have managed not to report the protests, arrests and the occupation of PC workers in Karachi.

Today, March 04, 2010, Express TV crew came to cover the protest at the 2nd site of the protest ie the camp in front of PC and interviewed and filmed many agitators. Reportedly their entire story was killed by one Director named Fahd Hussain for no obvious reason. The only reason is ‘its is not allowed’.

PC hotel workers share a very tiny fraction of the billions earned by the Hashwani group. Since 2001 about 250 sacked workers have been protesting but their is no response. Now a new layer of sacked workers and those showing solidarity with them have been targeted by the rich management. It is time media wakes-up and express its neutrality about the protest.

A commenter on the original post, Mr. Aamir Mughal sheds more light on the situation:

Mr Kamran Khan [Senior Correspondent of Daily Jang/GEO/The News] is a very close friend of Sadruddin Hashwani [Owner of PC] hence the news in censored. I wonder how does Kamran Khan maintain/afford houses in Defence Society Phase 6 and another house in PECHS [RAZI ROAD] Karachi and both the localities are considered Posh and “Costly” residential quarters of Karachi. How many Senior Journalist can afford a sport car like Mr. Kamran Khan do? By the way Kamran Khan was also very “closed” to Brigadier Imtiaz [since the days Imtiaz was only a Colonel in Karachi].

This looks very bad, indeed.

It was an unfortunate circumstance, and one that deserves discussion about how to prevent it in the future. But instead of talking about the obvious need to expand the availability of medial care, to improve access to doctors in cities and villages, to develop emergency protocols for medical emergencies — the media has focused its blame on the President. You can almost see the media shaking their heads and saying to each other in their comfortable drawing rooms, “Who does Zardari think he is? President!?!”

The most ridiculous comment came from The News editorial on Monday in which the editorialists wrote:

Roads are blocked across the country every day as anybody imagining themselves to be sufficiently important from the president down demand that they be shown ‘protocol’ and the way cleared before them.

Yes, obviously there are too many self-appointed VVIP’s in this country who expect to be treated like the President. But the President is the President. Obviously having these protocols to block roads for Presidential travel is an inconvenience. But it is not a protocol that was created out of some self-importance or ego. How many of our leaders have to be assassinated before we realize that we have to clear roads to protect their safety? What countries do not allow for such protocols when national leaders are traveling?

It is unfortunate because the vast majority of the media coverage has been dedicated to clucking of tongues and reporting of the President apologizing instead of looking at ways to improve transportation, access to emergency services, and medical care. The media could have served a useful role in facilitating a discussion of how to improve these things in the country. Instead, they chose to once again take the opportunity for petty political attacks. Very disappointing.

The article, by Sabir Shah, claims that:

“…lawmakers in every country of the world are required to have crime-free life history in order to qualify as members of legislative houses or even after they manage to get elected to the houses.”

This is incorrect. In fact, it was easily found to be wrong with a simple Google search. I did a Google search for the phrase ‘legislators with criminal records’ and found that in India, ”As many as 125 candidates with criminal records have won in assembly elections of five states that have just concluded, says a study conducted by the National Election Watch (NEW).” In the USA, there are many legislators who have served with criminal records. Actually, according to Article 1 Section 6 of the American constitution grants immunity to legislators while they are in attendance to the Congress.

They shall in all cases, except treason, felony and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance at the session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any speech or debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other place.

While there are certainly measures in many nations to remove from office individuals who commit high crimes such as treason or murder, it is not true that any criminal conviction will disqualify individuals from the legislature. More to the point, while “character” often makes up a qualification for holding office in many nations, what defines “character” differs greatly.

For example, the constitution of Saudi Arabia Says in Article 5 that “Rule passes to the sons of the founding King…the most upright among them is to receive allegiance…” This not only makes character an issue, but it also makes character comparative. That is, one of the sons will gain power no matter what (obviously, as it is a monarchy) – but that good character only matters in relation to the other sons. So, it is not necessarily a matter of the most righteous but could be the least bad! This is not the case, but it does show how these matters of character are very different from nation to nation and must be considered as such.

The News article is particularly curious as it is not only factually questionable, it seems to serve an ambiguous lesson. In other words, what is the point of this article? It is easy to assume that it is a thinly veiled swipe at NRO beneficiaries. Perhaps it is an article better published on the opinion page. First, though, the reporter should probably check his facts.

Conspiracy Spiders Weaving Their Tangled Web

Ayesha Siddiqa’s column in Dawn today is an excellent review of the silliness that continues to waste time and energy – not to mention providing a distraction from important issues. Of course I am referring to the conspiracy theory industry. That’s what it is, really, an industry. These are people who have figured out how to make a lot of money by hawking ridiculous fantasies and dramatic stories. Obviously, they don’t need the same evidence or facts that a real journalist would provide. Just a juicy story about a secret enemy is all that’s needed.

I COULDN’T believe my ears when responsible quarters informed me of an American-Blackwater conspiracy to isolate Pakistan.

According to this heinous plan the objective will be achieved by infiltrating the media, specifically through placing people in responsible positions in the print and electronic media. These plants will then be made responsible for freaking out ordinary people.

While some Blackwater agents are said to be responsible for making people paranoid about a secret plan to destroy Pakistan and take away its ‘crown jewels’ — its nuclear weapons — others have been given the task of exciting the populace with the idea of fighting some kind of holy war against neighbouring states and more.

This is called psy-ops, the art of instilling fear in the hearts of citizens and making them lose touch with reality and faith in their own capabilities. The biggest tool of course is the rumour mill, which is constantly in action churning out half-lies and half-truths. Anyone who cannot be bought off by the company is immediately termed a foreign agent. Such tricks are also useful in hiding the fact that it is in reality these people, who are working to isolate Pakistan, that are on Blackwater’s payroll.

There is evidence of using psy-ops in the past against ordinary folks and making them believe in some outside force conspiring to destroy them. The Germans before the Second World War are a prime example. The entire nation had lost touch with reality to a point that they stopped using rational thinking to assess the behaviour of their own leaders and held a certain kind of people responsible for the malaise they suffered from.

Resultantly, there was the famous witch-hunt through which the Jews, the ‘gypsies’, the physically disabled, homosexuals and non-conformist intellectuals were killed or forced to leave. Very soon, the Nazi military machine managed to get rid of people who would have proved to be an asset for the Third Reich.

Apparently, one of the secondary objectives of the conspirators is to create an environment which kills creative minds and pushes them to leave, hence the brain drain. It didn’t occur to ordinary Germans that their leaders, who were responsible for the First World War as well, were caught ‘with their pants down’ in the process of using military power against the rest of the world, and as such were equally responsible for the tragic state of affairs. In fact, the real conspiracy was to take away the rational faculty of the ordinary citizen.

In Pakistan today ordinary persons are being fed fear and paranoia so that they cannot think about the mistakes made by their own leadership. This is not to suggest that other nations do not make questionable plans but the fact is that painting the world in shades of black and white is in itself a conspiracy against the people.

For instance, the story about the historic American let-down does not mention that our own leadership was equally responsible for serving the interests of foreign states in return for both ‘cash and kind’. Publicly asking Hillary Clinton questions regarding the control of the ISI, for example, is nothing but superimposing the idea of the Pakistani nation’s EQ (emotional quotient). So Washington — rather than Islamabad — decides everything in Pakistan.

I haven’t been informed as yet but I suspect that there is even a larger conspiracy afoot to impair the minds of Muslims all over the world. This is done through instilling the fear of some ‘foreign hand’ behind everything that happens in their countries. Spreading such rumours gradually weakens and ultimately deadens their capacity to think of themselves as people who can control their destinies.

According to this plan, the answer for everything bad or unpleasant lies outside. The bulk of the mentally de-capacitated citizenry then gradually looks up to a certain set of leaders as ‘knights in shining armour’ who will protect them and the state.

The absence of systems in what is called the Muslim world is an eye-opener. The conspiracy deepens since people are also made to believe that their lives will only improve through installing a certain kind of programme on their national hard drive.

The writer is an independent strategic and political analyst.

The editorial, “A Reality Check”, drew its outrage from a recent editorial in the American newspaper, The Boston Globe.

The Globe editorial, “Pakistan’s Complicated Motives” says that Pakistan has an immense interest in the affairs of Afghanistan, and that our politicians and public alike prefer to have a friendly neighboring government. All in all, this is a fairly bland observation.

General Kayani is quoted by the newspaper as saying Pakistan’s “strategic paradigm” must be realized. The Globe’s editorial board noted the relationship between Pakistan and the US is multi-layered, and is Pakistan’s reasons for being so involved in the future of Afghanistan. There is hardly anything wildly controversial to be found here. Even the editorial acknowledges early on that the capture of Mullah Baradar demonstrates Pakistan working closely with the US, and that the two nations have achieved great successes together.

The Nation, however, is intent on finding something to be outraged about and so puts words in the mouths of the Globe editorial writers.

Take this excerpt, for example:

To all intents and purposes, the Americans are never happy, no matter whatever we do. One day, they are slinging mud on Islamabad for not doing enough in the anti-terror war and when it responds to the call, they chastise it for having ulterior motives.

Where is this in the referenced Globe editorial? It is, in fact, nowhere to be found. Actually, the Globe editorial is suggesting that Pakistan’s “ulterior motive” – as The Nation calls it – is to have some influence with the Afghani government. Isn’t that what The Nation also wants?

But truly, all of this is really beside the point. The Nation makes the truly ridiculous point that the Globe speaks for all Americans as well as the military and the Obama government. Does The Nation think that the edtiorial writers at the Globe newspaper speak more for the American policy than American military and political leaders?

The Nation itself reports today that the American General David Petraeus continues to praise Pakistan:

Senior US General David Petraeus on Tuesday hailed “important breakthroughs” and detentions in Pakistan, following the capture of a top Afghan Taliban commander and reports of other arrests.
The US General praised fight against militants as “quite impressive,” saying the counter-insurgency would be studied for years to come. He said Pakistan was running a classical campaign in the Swat Valley and South Waziristan.

“It is obvious that there have been a number of important detentions in Pakistan. It is very clear that there have been some significant intelligence operations,” Petraeus told reporters in Islamabad.

Of course, The Nation has a proud history of not reading their own reporting, so this should not be a surprise that they make this error again.

Actually, the Globe is a local newspaper in its own right, and since the editorial was located in the opinion section, speaks only for the editorial staff. If an American newspaper like New York Times or a UK newspaper like Guardian claimed that an editorial in Jasarat spoke for Pakistan, we would laugh!

Perhaps laughter is the best response to this Nation editorial after all.

These are very troubled times. Such times are a bonanza for conspiracy theorists because they know how best to simplify extremely complex situations while simultaneously grossly exaggerating the evil ingenuity of the plotters, and thus create thorough confusion. If such confusion can generate panic, then the conspiracy theorist has earned his living through real hard work. The art then is to top it off with an ending that results in the defeat of the evildoers. Such stuff is the bread and butter of writers of mystery stories and thrillers. Their works help shed everyday boredom, even if only for the moment.

Conspiracy theories and their authors become a cause for concern when they begin to hallucinate and can no longer distinguish between their own flights of imagination and the world around them. If such delirious moments only carry them into a world of make-believe, then the harm is limited. However, when they hijack a whole nation or community into another world, then they ought to be held accountable. When such characters appear in popular talk shows or, much worse, begin exploiting TV channels to present programmes full of war games and prophecies against a demonised group of plotters threatening the existence of a nation — nay, a universal community such as that of the Muslims — then I believe such persons should be held accountable for taking people on a ride with their yarns.

By now the readers must have guessed that I have no other person in mind other than Mr Zaid Hamid. Initially I was reluctant to comment on the farce he pedals in his talks and his TV programmes. The reason is that one can end up giving more importance to individuals than is due. On the other hand, the danger is that the angst and fears that run deep in Pakistani society will push our society even deeper into a pathological state of mind or national outlook. The daily bomb blasts by remote control or by suicide bombers, the galloping rate of unemployment and politicians who specialise in making a mockery of democracy and responsible governments have taken a huge toll on the spirits of the Pakistani people. Last year when I visited Lahore I took a long walk beginning from Anarkali up to Lohari Gate and then eastwards till I came to Mochi Gate. Then I walked down to Gawalmandi, from there I went down Nisbet Road till I came to Lakshmi Chowk. I can tell you that for the first time in my life I felt that Lahore was in mourning. People could not take any longer all the betrayal of hopes for a Pakistan without want and hunger.

Mr Zaid Hamid’s grand conspiracy has a happy ending, however. The Muslim world and the Islamic Ummah in general and Pakistan in particular are the victims of a Zionist-Brahminical-CIA-Mossad-RAW-MI5-MI6, and all the rest, plot, according to this celebrated defence and security analyst. Our only true friend is China. The latter of course is still wedded to Marxism-Leninism and thus to atheism, but that does not matter. Just as there are good and bad Taliban, there can be good and bad atheists. Is that not logical? Once upon a time, I remember, the Chinese with their special eye shape and high cheekbones, we were told, were the people that Islam would fight, also accordingly to some prophecies. That was of course when Pakistan and China had not become friends, whose friendship was later described as higher than the Himalayas. So, there is a season for prophecies — some come in while others go out.

Mr Zaid Hamid tells us not to worry. Pakistan is a nuclear power and the defeat of Hind (India) has been prophesied 1,400 years ago. It will not only be the end of India but Israel and the US and all other evil powers, including Russia. Pakistan and China and some true Muslims will triumph in the final father of all battles — the mother of all battles is dead since a long time, I believe. Hopefully then we will convert all the Chinese, otherwise what is the point?

What will happen to all the nuclear weapons that the enemies of Islam possess? Their total is in the thousands! Well, they will become un-useable or explode in their own countries so the Islamic forces will not be responsible for the genocide of billions of members of the human race. In any case, such details, which disturb the elegance of a simple but sensational conspiracy theory, have to be ignored. The green flag will fly atop the Delhi Fort as it should have had we not created Pakistan and denied ourselves that opportunity 63 years earlier.

Is there any chance that such prophecy may not hold or rather that no such prophecy has existed in the past and it has been manufactured by Mr Zaid Hamid to support his grand theory, which has already declared a Muslim victory? I think such questions should suffice to explain to interested readers to distinguish between conspiracies and conspiracy theories.

Attributing so much power to the Zionists or Mossad also makes no sense. The way Mossad has messed up its crime in Dubai when a hit squad was sent to assassinate a Hamas leader only shows that such an agency cannot sometimes manage even simple operations. RAW is even less likely to pull off an attack on Pakistan with impunity. Recently the Taliban killed a number of CIA operatives in Afghanistan. If Mossad-Raw-CIA were to join ranks, would they perform better or is it likely that in the absence of a common chain of command they can mess up things even more? I do not know. But I do know that neither Mr Zaid Hamid nor his theory allow for an error, and in any case whatever initial advantage these evil agencies and powers may have, our victory is a foregone conclusion. That is exactly a conspiracy theory.

Another thing to keep in mind is the following: conspiracies by their very nature are secretive and oftentimes catch their targets off-guard. ‘Et tu, Bruté?’ (Even you, Brutus?), exclaimed Julius Caesar, as his best friend joined other plotters and stabbed him to death. Of course his (Julius Caesar’s) wife, Calpurnia, had been seeing such a nightmare many times, Shakespeare informed his readers. So, maybe one can see visions about such happenings. In any case, conspiracy theories that have already exposed the culprits and punished them and defeated them are just flights of the imagination, or, could be deep dives into a bottomless void inside the belly of the earth.